I'm jonesin' for some tech!

From here on out, I'm revoking the vast majority of my WoW posts, because I try to hard to think of something relating to it, then don't write for weeks at a time. That's poor form. So anyway, back to corrupting your point of view with my twisted morals and misguided intentions.

So I got this new phone last week, and it brought up some rather blatant hypocrisies within myself, though you'll be hard pressed to find documented evidence of it (shredded, and burned. Thank you legal team). I had always found that using a cell phone just for the sake of having a mobile phone was quite satisfying enough for me, and I had absolutely no interest in anything more from it. Well, unless a cell phone could tend bar for me. Then I probably woulda wanted one of those. 'Scuse me Foneface, I'll have a jack and coke, on the rocks. Then I'd get plastered and tell him my woes, because that's why bartenders do.

What was I going on about? There we go, the beauty of looking up the page. So anyway, got this fancy fucker now, does everything. It actually offered to wipe while I was on the shitter. I wasn't sure if it was male or female though, so I declined. But I find that I'm actually using it for quite a bit more than just it's phone purpose (which is probably the hardest part to figure out on the damn thing. I could walk over to my friend's house, kick his face in, walk back, grill out, and take a nap before I dial in the number). It's highly annoying, actually using this because I know that at some point I'm going to become dependent upon it, and that sucks. The only things that should be depended on in life are hookers putting out and hippies smelling terrible. And here I am breaking this exceptional trend with phone dependence.

I think this is a noticable trend in society; the more you have, the more you need it all. Which is kind of silly because none of us actually need all this bullshit, we just like it so much that we deem it a personal need. It's like a drug addiction, only the drug is technology. And let me tell you, it is a sweet fucking drug. I have no personal qualms about it at all. Unless the robot revolution comes in my lifetime, it's an addiction not likely to kill me (please God, let it happen to my kids instead of me). Though I do remember hearing about some dude dropping dead in an internet cafe because he was too fucking dumb to take a shit or feed himself while he was on his computer. I think even if he didn't die, he should've won a Darwin award. I think we all know he wasn't getting laid any time soon.

So summation, eh? Don't uh... Don't die before you get yourself laid, phones are terrible bartenders, and prepare an EMP for the robot revolution. By EMP I really mean handgun, and by prepare I mean insert it in your mouth and pull the trigger. It's the only way. If you wanna go ahead and jump the gun (heh, pun intended) and do it now, I'm sure no one will mind. Or care that you're gone.