In my past experiences flying to and fro about this country, I've realized how much it rocks to be a white American male. Every single time I've flown, I've had a very smooth and anal cavity search free experience. Except for when I'm feeling kinda squirrelly, I have no complaints about the experience. Even Thanksgiving day, which I was told by many better traveled men than myself that it was the worst day to fly, I got from my car to the gate in 10 minutes. You can't buy that kind of luck. Or skin color/ nationality. Well, you can but I suppose it would be an expensive procedure, requiring the most brilliant minds of the east and several gallons of white out.
You see, every time I end up there, everyone greets me with a smile, and asks how I'm doing, and where I'm going. I tell them I'm visiting my parents that I love oh so much and that they should really try and have a nice day. Actually, I'm going across the state border to bury a $25 hooker that I got a bit too frisky with. At least I got my money's worth. Anyway, does it matter? Hell no! I'm white, good-natured, and the son of a middle-class family, let me on my plane bitch!
I suppose this is my version of a social commentary. It's ill conceived, I know, but I can't remember the last time I gave a shit about what people thought of my opinions. Racism is prevalent everywhere we go. Tough nuts, we all deal with it. Example time!
The mayor of Memphis (he's black) accuses the voting population of being racist, trying to get someone else elected. The Memphis voting populace is 85% black as well. I think it just means you're a shitty mayor, not that they're racist. Oh, and he's corrupt as fuck.
A middle-eastern looking man is stopped at an airport for "random searches." Unfair? Yes. But I also can't remember the last time any other religion had a parade because they didn't have a suicide bombing that day.
KKK members are actually a bunch of angry men with small penises. It's jealousy that drives them.
A black female applies to be a cop in Louisville, KY. She scores a 64 on the entrance exam, and gets in. A white male does the same and scores a 92. He does not get in. White man commits suicide shortly after. No one cares, he was replaceable.
Kwame Kilpatrick (Mayor or Detroit) beats, rapes, kills, and buries hookers, in no particular order. There's really nothing racy there, just a bit of truth.
I suppose my whole article didn't come off in a very positive light for myself, and probably made me seem the biggest racist of all, but I would like to point everyone to my friend Satire. Satire is a clever little guy. Sometimes he pops out of nowhere, and other times he can be a planned writing device. He's so very diverse! If you have an IQ over 12, you can tell he's just yanking your chain, but sometimes stupid people can overlook Satire. He's kind of short, but generally tries to make himself stand out anyway. So have I condescended to your legendary level of stupidity yet? Or do I need to explain that this is sarcasm? I swear if I get one fucking person that accuses me of being a racist because of this, I'm going to beat the shit out of them.
Racism is bad, so it's probably best that everyone just fucking drops it right now. It's the single most disgusting form of hate, and deserves its own special level of hell, reserved only for penguin rapers and people who talk on their cell phones while ordering fast food.
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